Dealing with Difficult People: 7 Powerful Tactics for Meaningful Conversations

Dealing with difficult people is something we all face, because–let’s be honest—some people are just exhausting. You know the ones. The person who somehow always finds the worst take on any topic, the human equivalent of nails on a chalkboard. But here’s the thing:

Getting into it with them? 

Not worth it.

Not for them, and definitely not for you.

There are mean fu@ks everywhere, my friend.  This blog is all about the strategy of how to deal with them because …it matters. Because you matter. Because no one has time for office drama. 

Around 60% of employees have never received any conflict management training.

Why Dealing with Difficult People Hurts (Like, Physically Hurts)

Most of us spend years learning technical skills, leadership strategies, and how to make a killer PowerPoint deck—but very few of us ever actually trained in conflict management. That is: we’re never trained on dealing with difficult people.

That means we’re all just kind of winging it–relying on whatever dysfunctional models we grew up with (hello, passive-aggressive family dynamics) or whatever approach feels least painful in the moment (avoidance, over-explaining, shutting down, etc.).

And let’s be real: dealing with difficult people can be truly painful. Not just frustrating—painful.

Why? Because conflict often hits at the core of our sense of purpose and belonging. Humans are wired for connection. When someone challenges, dismisses, or outright disrespects us, it can trigger a deep, almost primal response:

• Am I valued here?

• Does my voice matter?

• Is this relationship—or this job—safe for me?

So when we are dealing with difficult people, we’re not just managing them—we’re also managing our own internal reactions. And if we don’t have a plan, we either explode (bad) or absorb it all (ouch).

That’s why strategy matters.

The Science of Why Conflict Is Bad for You

Every time you are dealing with difficult people–meaning: engaging in a negative, high-stress interaction–your body goes into fight-or-flight mode. A study from the American Psychological Association found that chronic interpersonal conflict triggers higher cortisol levels, which can impair memory, weaken your immune system, and even increase your risk of heart disease. 

In short, despising someone is bad for your health. When you engage in conflict:

• Your stress hormones spike (hello, cortisol and adrenaline).

• Your heart rate and blood pressure skyrocket.

• Blood rushes away from your brain (so good luck forming those razor-sharp comebacks).

• Your muscles tense up, prepping for battle (even though this is just Gary from accounting).

Meanwhile, a calm, strategic approach does the opposite: it activates endorphins, stabilizes blood pressure, and makes you seem like the composed, in-control genius that you are.

The best advice I know about dealing with difficult people is this: Remember that you don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to. So, if you can, avoid the Negative Nancies altogether. 

BUT–since they have a pesky way of existing in every workplace, family, and social circle, we DO need a game plan for when we encounter them. Here’s how to keep your cool, stay strategic, and navigate these interactions like a pro.

7 Powerful Tactics for Dealing with Difficult People (so you can actually have meaningful conversations with them)

1. Remember: Someone Loves This Person.

No matter how irritating they are, someone out there thinks they’re great. Maybe they’re a fantastic dog owner. Maybe their nephew thinks they walk on water. Imagining even the worst adversary as someone who is loving and loved is important in the middle of conflict. When we dehumanize anyone, we run the risk of believing, saying and doing unconscionable things.

2. Drop the “You” Statements.

“You always…” or “You never…” are basically conflict gasoline. Instead, use "I" statements to frame your perspective without triggering their defenses. Example:

🚫 “You never listen to me!”

✅ “I feel unheard when I don’t get a chance to share my thoughts.”

3. Be Confident—Not Combative.

Assertiveness is fine. Aggression? Not so much. Research shows that aggressive communication increases resistance, while calm, clear communication makes others more receptive. Keep your tone firm but composed. NOTE: This takes practice! 

4. Don’t Try to Win.

This isn’t a debate competition. You only win a prize at the end of a nasty conversation if you’re able to leave with your dignity and/or ethics intact. Aim for resolution, not victory. Decide what your most peaceful (not vindictive) outcome would be and aim for that. Once achieved, walk away respectfully. 

5. Get Curious Instead of Furious.

Instead of assuming they’re just the worst, ask clarifying questions:

• “What outcome are you hoping for in this conversation?”

• “Help me understand your perspective on this.”

  It forces them to articulate their reasoning and might reveal something useful.

6. Know When to Tap Out.

If you feel your blood pressure rising and your patience tanking, exit gracefully.

“I need a moment to think this over.”

“Let’s revisit this when we both have a clear head.”

Smart leaders don’t stay in losing battles.

7. Control the Setting.

Location matters. Heated conversations don’t belong at the dinner table, in front of an audience, or in a high-pressure environment. Choose neutral ground when possible.

Dealing with Difficult People Like a Pro

Dealing with difficult people isn’t about winning—it’s about protecting your peace and staying in control of your energy. You may not be able to avoid every frustrating human, but you can absolutely decide how you engage.

And if it feels extra hard? That’s because it is extra hard. Conflict management isn’t just a skill—it’s a practice. The more you refine your approach, the less power difficult people will have over you.

So the next time someone is testing your patience? Take a breath, use your strategy, and walk away knowing you handled it better than they did.

“Because in the long game of life, calm is power.”

Curious about generative conflict training for your teams…or even how to get through meetings and projects faster using strategic conflict resolution tools?

Our Calming Conflict workshop might be perfect for you!

Let’s Talk. ♥