LOL! Three ways to get over your nervous laughter
When I was 19 years old, I interviewed for an internship at a healthcare organization and – although I was completely unaware of it at the time – I nervously laughed throughout the interview.
“I’m a junior in college. hahaha.”
“Yes, I’m studying communication and hope to work with your team as an intern. Hahaha.”
“No, I don’t have any direct marketing experience, but I’m willing to learn. Hahaha.”
Suddenly, the woman interviewing me sternly said: “I don’t like your nervous laugh. It makes me not trust you. Remember that.” (Ouch, so rude!) My nervous laughter almost destroyed that internship opportunity. Almost.
We can all have moments when we lean on laughter or humor to get us through a nervous conversation like a job interview, networking chat or casual encounter when we’re out and about. Anywhere from 16-50% of the U.S. population consists of introverts - people who get their energy from having “alone time.” And there’s a lot of us out here. Yes, I’m an introvert, too.
Just remember this: our nervous laughter isn’t fooling anyone. Others can clearly see through it for what it is, and it will always make them feel uncomfortable. No one appreciates repeated laughs or giggles used to conceal nerves, or humor used in a way that is passive aggressive.
Here’s how to get over your nervous laughter the next time you’re in a conversation:
1. Get a game plan.
Map out the environments and settings where your nervous laughter is likely to spark up, like answering a difficult question, making small talk, talking about sensitive or personal subjects, etc. Then, practice how you would respond to those scenarios - like how you would answer the question you dread being asked, how you would introduce yourself in an interesting way, or how you would position the fact that you’re looking for a new job without sounding too eager. Personally, I ask questions as a way to diffuse my nerves in small talk conversations. The more space I give the other person to talk about themselves, the less pressure there is on me to come up with things to say (and the less opportunity there is for me to laugh at the end of all my sentences.)
2. Shake it off.
Channel your nervous energy before you head into a situation where your nervous laughter might start up. It’s amazing what a little movement ahead of time can do to ease your nerves. Yoga, running and impromptu dance parties are all great ways to exhaust some of that stressful energy. The less amped-up you are before having a nervous conversation, the more relaxed you can be in the moment. Doing this will curb your nervous laughter and help you feel confident.
3. Listen.
Oftentimes - when we are nervous - we are listening to reply…not listening to learn. When we listen to reply, we are scrambling to come up with a counterpoint or response that sounds smart or witty. If, instead, we listen to learn, we can most often find a way to seamlessly build upon what the other person is saying. This keeps the conversation naturally flowing and leaves less room for that nervous laughter that tells the other person we couldn’t think of anything else to say.
I love laughter. I love it so much that I write and perform sketch comedy as a hobby! Well-timed and legitimate laughter in a conversation is a joyful thing. It can lighten moods and let the other person know we are listening to them. When we laugh just to laugh, though, the whole situation becomes a joke…and that’s no laughing matter.
Are you ready to start leading with confidence and clarity? Our personalized leadership coaching is designed to elevate your professional game. Discover how tailored coaching can unlock your potential and drive success when you TRANSFORM your leadership skills! Discover Leadership Coaching.